i am fed up with life. i've got a dead child coming, ready to steal my last chance at success, my last chance at freedom. i love a girl that i will never have, that i will never touch. my heart is filled with anger and bitterness. sometimes i wish something would happen to snap me back to my senses, to my former appreciation of life. i used to love life, i loved the fresh smell of dew in the morning, the brisk kiss of the chilly morning wind, the warmth of the sun beating down on my face. now i smell the mold of the dew, the deathly cold of the morning, and the untolerable ehat of the sun burning my skin.
why?
why?
why?
why? why was i given this psyche, i am so easily molded by the people around me. and the people around me do nothing but tear me down, or so it seems. i can't get close to anyone because of her, because of the curse that she has so happily blessed me with.
but you know what? it is almost over. the pain, the torture, the forced love, is almost over. thank god. i am sorry that this child had to die, but i feel that everything happens for a reason. i cannot give up my future for a cluster of cells. sorry, but that does not make any logical sense in my mind. yes, i would love to raise it if i could, but i can not raise it. ugh. it is terrible. i am sorry for what i have done to hurt any one that i have hurt.
i am so sorry, i wish i were a better person
Saturday, October 18, 2008
Sunday, October 12, 2008
Internships and Phonies
What an interesting weekend...
Last Tuesday a sign up sheet for a summer internship was floating around my Macroeconomics class. I threw my name and phone number on the sheet and thought nothing of it. I got a call on Wednesday evening from a gentleman named Brent from College Works Painting. He asked me a few questions over the phone and then invited me to a brief info session. I went to the session with Brent and two other potential interns. He slyly dismissed one of them halfway through the meeting. He liked both me and the other guy, so we set up a reverse interview for the next day. I went to my 3:30 meeting with Brent at Brenen's Cafe on High Street dressed in a J. Crew outfit. The meeting lasted about an hour and fifteen minutes and went pretty well. At the end of the meeting he said he would email me a list of former interns who I should talk to.
But I fucked up big time. I was supposed to have the list on Friday night. I didnt check my email Friday or Saturday. I eventually checked it a few hours ago and there was no email there. Fuck. I called him and got no answer. Fuck. Did I just blow a $10,000++ job because I was lazy for 36 hours? Probably. Fuck.
A psycho bitch named Kayla came over Friday and Saturday night. I came back from Our Party on friday to make a sandwhich and she was there with Nicole and two other dudes. She started talking about Svet and calling her ugly and what not. Me, having no idea who she was, told her to get out of the house. She eventually left after a bit of screaming. She came back over on Saturday all smiles and apologized to me. By the end of the night she had Jared cornered in my closet. Wtf. She eventually left with a busted lip. Jared also used Svet to piss her off. Svet won't get over Jared. Ugh. I'm done with this garbage.
P
Last Tuesday a sign up sheet for a summer internship was floating around my Macroeconomics class. I threw my name and phone number on the sheet and thought nothing of it. I got a call on Wednesday evening from a gentleman named Brent from College Works Painting. He asked me a few questions over the phone and then invited me to a brief info session. I went to the session with Brent and two other potential interns. He slyly dismissed one of them halfway through the meeting. He liked both me and the other guy, so we set up a reverse interview for the next day. I went to my 3:30 meeting with Brent at Brenen's Cafe on High Street dressed in a J. Crew outfit. The meeting lasted about an hour and fifteen minutes and went pretty well. At the end of the meeting he said he would email me a list of former interns who I should talk to.
But I fucked up big time. I was supposed to have the list on Friday night. I didnt check my email Friday or Saturday. I eventually checked it a few hours ago and there was no email there. Fuck. I called him and got no answer. Fuck. Did I just blow a $10,000++ job because I was lazy for 36 hours? Probably. Fuck.
A psycho bitch named Kayla came over Friday and Saturday night. I came back from Our Party on friday to make a sandwhich and she was there with Nicole and two other dudes. She started talking about Svet and calling her ugly and what not. Me, having no idea who she was, told her to get out of the house. She eventually left after a bit of screaming. She came back over on Saturday all smiles and apologized to me. By the end of the night she had Jared cornered in my closet. Wtf. She eventually left with a busted lip. Jared also used Svet to piss her off. Svet won't get over Jared. Ugh. I'm done with this garbage.
P
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